How to Be More Confident In 7 Quick Steps
Today I will be talking about how to appear more confident in 7 quick steps. Not everyone is born with rock-solid confidence but thankfully it is something we can develop! When it comes to confidence, it is definitely one of the few things you can fake it ’til you make it. It is time to stop mumbling, avoiding eye contact, and slouching when speaking to others and know that you are worthy!
So let’s get into it!
- Correct Your Posture
The very first thing you must do is FIX YOUR POSTURE! This means even when you are alone. When we slouch and/or have bad posture when speaking to others, it gives you the appearance of being unsure of yourself, unconfident, and nervous! And not only does it effect people’s perception of you, having bad posture can cause injury to the lower back and neck through strain and stiffness. You can improve your posture through stretching and working out your posterior side. The 6 steps I always use to fix my posture is: (1) pull your shoulders back (comfortably) (2) protrude your chest slightly (3) lift your head to eye level (4) keep your chin level (5) put your weight in the middle to back of your feet (6) fix your pelvic tilt.
If you are used to slouching, fixing your posture may feel slightly uncomfortable for a while but stick to it and eventually it will be second nature!
Here is a great infographic on some posture corrective exercises:
2. Speak Clearly
STOP MUMBLING! It is one thing to have a naturally soft or quiet voice but if you tend to mumble and not finish your thoughts- STOP RIGHT NOW. Have you ever spoke to someone who mumbled and never articulated their words clearly? What did you think of them? Did you think they were knowledgeable, smart, and confident? NO! You thought they were nervous, unsure of themselves, and inexperienced! Is that they way you want to present yourself? Regardless of how smart you are, if you are not able to speak with grace and articulation- it will not show. Think about politicians. A majority of them definitely did not graduate as the top of their class BUT they are able to speak so well, they can win votes regardless of their background.
When fixing your speech, you’ll want to practice by yourself and record to hear how you talk and where you need to improve. Here is a fantastic video from a great youtube channel to fix your speech. Always remember that your thoughts are as worthy as anyone else’s when speaking! Talk up!
3. Eye Contact
Stop looking at your shoes, at the wall, and at anything other than the person speaking to you and the person you are speaking to! When you fail to look someone in their eyes during a conversation, it might actually be quite offensive. People may think their is an issue with them or think you’re rude or nervous- both things we want to avoid. A good rule it to look someone in their eyes for around 5 seconds before you look away for a couple seconds and then look back. It may feel awkward at first and that’s okay! A good way to improve your eye contact in daily life is to wear sunglasses. Don’t rely on this though, but for severe cases, start making strong eye-contact while wearing sunglasses to get used it.
Here is a video on how to make eye contact when you feel awkward about it. Practice makes perfect!
4. Smile More
Don’t be afraid to show off your beautiful smile! This doesn’t mean to be smiling from cheek to cheek every second of the day but rather have a small smile on yourself when interacting with others. Appearing Happy = Appearing Kind = Appearing Confident. Have you seen anyone who seemed happy but unconfident? Seems to be a bit of an oxymoron. Practice in the mirror to find your resting happy face and use it! You’ll appear more confident, kind, and open to interactions.
Think of something happy and keep that smile on yourself throughout your day!
5. Have an Impeccable Appearance
Although confidence should not come from the outside, if you are struggling with being confident you need to be sure you always look your best. This does not mean you have to wear the latest thing Kanye West or Emrata posted on their Instagram but wear what makes YOU feel the best you can feel. When you feel good with what you’re wearing- it will show! I suggest completely gutting your wardrobe to only the pieces that make you feel 100% confident. Have a little fashion show and try on all your clothes! If you put it on and you don’t love it- throw it (donate it preferably)! Be confident in the your skin and clothes and know that you look good. Here is the Audacia fashion board for inspiration!
6. Stop Comparing Yourself
Comparing yourself is the fastest route to depression, anxiety, and lack of confidence. Do you find yourself comparing yourself to everyone who walks by? To people on TV, Instagram, or Facebook? A lot of people can’t help it but just because it’s normal does not mean its healthy.
If you compare yourself to people on social media- you should do a social media cleanse. I suggest cutting down on your social media time everyday (check your screen time in your phone and set limits) until you’re not checking it at all. Go a couple days or weeks without checking your feeds and see how you feel. Use self-affirmations every-time you look in the mirror and build your confidence! Learn that someone is always going to be doing something “better” than you but why does that matter? Does their success, looks, and possessions make them better than you? The answer is always NO. You are you, there has been nothing like you and there will be nothing like you- YOU ARE UNIQUE. So stop comparing yourself to others because they are not you and they could NEVER be you!
Here is a great video on how to stop comparing yourself. Once again- practice makes perfect.
7. Stop Negative Self-Talk
“I feel fat”, “I look so ugly”, “I’m so dumb”. This type of negative self-talk needs to stop immediately (joking or not). Many people find self-deprecating jokes as a way to cope but it is not doing yourself any favours in the long run. This is not to say that some days you won’t feel ugly, fat, or dumb but it is imperative to not joke or dwell in these negative emotions. You are human and you are not going to be happy 24/7-365 but it is essential to combat negative self-talk once it appears. For example, when the thought of you being ugly pops in your mind you need to train yourself to stop and rectify it with a compliment to yourself!
If you think, “I look so ugly” STOP and then say, “I am beautiful and unique and I love my (insert feature)”
You really need to train yourself to stop talking bad about yourself. Do you find confident people constantly talking down about themselves? No- they “boost” themselves up with compliments all time! Every time you pass a mirror, you need to find one thing to compliment yourself about- either an internal or external characteristic!
What tips did you like most? When do you struggle to be confident? Share below!
– X ♡